BBC Six Music Podcasts.
Six Music.
This is a free download from the BBC.
Find out more at bbc.co.uk slash six music.
And now, Adam and Jo.
BBC values.
Trust is the foundation of the BBC.
We're independent, impartial and honest.
Joe?
Yes?
Audiences are at the heart of everything we do.
Joe?
Heart.
We take pride in delivering quality and value for money.
Joe?
Qualively.
Creativity is the lifeblood of our organisation.
The lifeblood.
Joe?
What is creativity?
We respect each other and celebrate our diversity so that everyone can give their best, Joe.
You are a white poo.
We are one BBC!
Great things happen when we work together, Joe!
Heil BBC!
Heil BBC!
Right, I was just checking there, listeners, that Joe is pulling his weight as part of the big British castle.
I was reading out the BBC values statement on the back of my... You're so lucky, I don't have that on my pass.
Yes, you do.
Everyone's got that.
No, I don't.
I've got fire safety on hearing the continuous sound of the fire alarm leave the building immediately.
Well, you should have the core values.
I don't need them.
I don't stray from them in the way that you do all the time with your playing of Phil Collins and children's music.
Have you had the core values tattooed onto your buttocks as was the regulation?
Yeah, I was born in the BBC.
Right.
I was cloned in the BBC cloning labs from a little bit of Peter Purvis's sputum.
They mixed it with Valerie Singleton's brains and Desmond Wilcox's cocks.
And some sputum from Lord Reith.
Yes.
And I was born in a little Petri dish.
They covered it on Tomorrow's World.
If you go into the archives, there's a little episode and you can see me as a protoplasm being poked by Judith Han.
Was she a presenter?
Judith Han.
Han.
Han Solo.
Anyway, listen, this is Adam and Joe.
Welcome to our podcast.
The edited highlights, that's comparatively speaking, of our BBC6 Music show that you can hear live every Saturday morning from 9am till noon.
And you're probably listening to this week's show in its best format because we played some troubling music.
We played some Phil Collins, some Mr Men.
What else did we have that was tricky?
A bit of jazz funk.
Jazz, funk, we were all over the shop with really challenging music and some of the narrow-minded listeners that we may have were a bit freaked out and shocked by some of it, weren't they?
Yeah, but you know, Six Music is all about being adventurous, taking risks, and going to places other stations wouldn't necessarily go.
Yeah, and we went there, so... Like BBC Gold or whatever.
Right.
We did slightly become BBC Gold.
Doesn't matter, because we also were playing some crazy, mad indie music as well.
That's true.
We were mixing it all up.
If you want to hear the full show with all the music, you can still hear it on the via the listen again feature, but here is the highlights from the talkie highlights from that show.
Enjoy.
This is a podcast from the big, rich castle.
Featuring portions from the Adam and Jojo radiogram.
This is Joe, uh, presenting solo for the moment because Adam hasn't got here yet, uh, and we've got bad news, listeners.
He's, he's been arrested, uh, on the way for having a big bushy beard.
A big black bushy beard.
He was mistaken for a terrorist.
and his car was stopped by the police and now we're going to join him live in prison hello adam hello it's not a very good story is it no that's all lies listeners terrible bbc lies why would i be talking about that it's fine you got here
I'm fine.
I wasn't arrested.
What happened was I had to hire a car because I'm moving house at the moment.
It's a very long process.
I'm doing it in stages.
If you move like when you're 18, it takes an afternoon.
You get a friend to help you, comes around with a van or whatever, and it's not a problem.
And that's the case right through your 20s.
But then as soon as you maybe get married or start having children or, you know, build a small ludicrous empire,
moving house is a very long process and it you can't just do it in a day it takes ages and ages and i'm still doing it like weeks after i began the process let's stick with the arrested story to the prison voice again hello so i had to hire a car this morning right to to move a bit more stuff
and it was dangerous.
They gave me an automatic car, right?
They didn't say anything about that.
They're fun.
They're like big bumper cars.
Well, it's a big bumper car, but the brakes on the thing are unbelievable.
It's springy.
I mean, it's very sensitive.
So the tiniest little... They need to be.
Do you reckon?
Yeah, because automatics, they're driven by people who think they're at the fun fair.
Right, like the guy in the automatic.
Like the guy in the band The Automatic, exactly.
Is it the drummer who's the demented one in The Automatic?
I don't know.
Anyway, this car is all kitted out to protect a driver against the guy from The Automatic with incredibly sensitive brakes, right?
And I had a mirror.
laid on top of my boxes in the back of the car.
And at one point, I just stopped at a red light, but broke too hard.
The mirror slid.
The mirror slid.
Creating an optical illusion through the rearview mirror, did it?
Yeah, it was amazing.
You thought you'd driven into an infinite universe of reflections.
I nearly, no, what nearly happened was Damien Omen 2 style decapitation scenario.
Damien Omen 2?
Was it?
One.
I'm sure it was the second one, wasn't it?
Oh no, it was the second one.
It's one when he gets his head chopped off by a big bit of glass.
It's the beginning of number one.
Are you sure?
Can we have that confirmed by our film experts?
I think it's number two.
Anyway, our listeners will quickly tell us.
They're good on that sort of thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, that nearly happened to me.
Wow.
Because of the breaks.
Why didn't it happen to you?
that you would prefer!
No, I'm saying, why didn't it, what stopped it?
The head post.
The head post.
That's why you have head posts.
Thank God.
Thank goodness for the head post, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
It would just be a gory stump.
How would you like to do that with it, like, the Joe and the Gory Stump Show?
It'd be funny.
It'd be like Adam Buxton from the film Stardust.
Yeah.
Instead of an axe in your head, it would be a big mirror.
What kind of voice would I have then?
Just a bubbly... Yes, the prison voice again.
That would be my gory stump voice.
Now listen, we just got an email also Joe reckons from someone who is getting married.
Yeah, let me take you through this properly.
Here we go.
This is an email from somebody called Emma Spencer.
And she says that she's she and her family are fans of the show.
And they're having a wedding soon.
And they're putting their playlist together for their wedding.
They're not fans now after the fruity cough.
No.
But they're missing a song for their first dance.
Right.
And Emma says, can you help us?
Any suggestions?
We don't really have an hour song.
So she's thinking... Well, she's listed all the records they've got for the disco.
Right.
After the wedding.
A bit of Robert Palmer, some Samixalot.
It's a very good lineup.
Texas Midnight Runners.
Some Loggins is in there.
Which Loggins?
Kenneth Loggins.
with Footloose.
There's only one Loggins isn't it?
It's not going to be Obscure Loggins is it?
It could be Rupert Loggins.
He hasn't secured a record deal yet.
Yeah but a Loggins album track or something.
Christina Aguilera and Friends with Lady Marmalade.
All that kind of thing.
It don't, oh please her?
I think it's a brilliant, you know, weddings all bets are off.
What's wrong with the original?
You don't need Aguilera.
Oh you do, there's warbling and it's sexy for the kids.
Oh please.
So she's thinking maybe we could suggest like a real song.
But we were thinking... We were thinking Emma.
or indeed maybe Emma doesn't want this but it made us come up with an idea which is for song wars if you're having a wedding would you like us to write the song for your first dance because we'd like the person who agrees to this to enter into a binding
solemnly sworn contractual oath.
Yeah, much like the marriage vow itself.
That they promise to play the winning song at their wedding and dance to it as their first dance.
And we're going to need video evidence that this song was actually used as the first dance.
And we would, as our part of the contract, we would promise to try our damnedest to make a song that will go down really well.
at the wedding because we know the vast majority of the people at the wedding won't know what Song Wars is or what these noises are.
So we try and really make it welcoming.
Yeah, all they would have to say, they wouldn't have to explain like, oh, they're these guys on Six Music.
It's a digital station.
You need a DAB radio.
They wouldn't have to go through all that.
That might be in the song.
Yeah, they would just
All they would say is, you know, we've had a song specially composed for Martine and Chris or whoever it happens to be, and here it is.
And then the guests would be confused for two and a half minutes.
But you would have to dance during that period of confusion.
We might, I'm not promising anything, but there might be a special dance that comes with the song.
Prince Charming style.
Yeah.
Textination, text, text, text, textination.
What if I don't want to?
Textination.
But I'm using email, is that a problem?
It doesn't matter, text!
Now we've had a couple of emails in which conveniently feed into the idea of Text the Nation.
Here is one from Hugh Overend.
It says, one question I would very much like answered is this.
On a previous podcast from years gone by, I remember Joe saying that the film Revolver was hyped as being Guy Ritchie back to his brilliant best.
Yet Rock and Roller, the new Guy Ritchie film, has also been hyped as Ritchie returns to diamond form.
Does this indicate that his diamond form is greater than his brilliant best?
Or does nothing top his brilliant best?
Or have they just reused the same quote?
There's another email from Karen DeFranco who says, Why have there been no Guy Ritchie rock and roller based critiques?
I've been waiting for Joe to launch into a spleen venting diatribe.
Have you been gagged by the Beeb?
Johnny Spleen.
I wanna vent some spleen!
Right, Guy Ritchie!
That's what he's like, kicks open the door, I'm gonna vent some spleen today!
Well neither of us have seen Rock and Roller, I know two people who've seen it, and this is an entirely random poll, it doesn't reflect our opinion or the BBC's opinion of Guy Ritchie's return to form, but both people I know who've seen it couldn't make it beyond minute 40.
Really?
And they left.
Something happens at minute 40 that's apparently
Either it's just, you know, a snowballing misery or something happens that makes you leave the cinema.
I think by the time he's introduced the 63rd colourful character, most people's brains just collapse.
So anyway, to get to the point, text the nation this week.
is a request for you to invent new ideas for films for Guy Ritchie and new characters and plot.
So yeah, have you got any ideas to get people started there, Joe?
I've got a few things.
Yeah, I've got some characters, some ideas for characters.
It's an enjoyable thing to do, isn't it?
To think of characters for Guy Ritchie films.
I've got one called Three Hands Rog.
Oh!
Yeah, can you guess what the thing about him is?
He's got three actual hands.
That's correct.
He's got two hands on his right hand.
What is three hands, Rog?
There is no more to him than that.
Yeah.
Zero.
That's it.
I've got one call.
Oh, well, you do one.
I've got Billy the Kettle.
Nice.
He's got a whistle that he blows when he gets hot.
That's really good.
It's Billy the Kettle.
Why is he called Billy the Kettle?
You'll see.
He's got a whistle.
You'll know when he's angry.
He blows his whistle.
You wouldn't give it away in the dialogue.
Would you not?
Yes, you would.
And then you'd see it.
And then you'd say it again.
Also, I've got some casting suggestions.
Oh.
Can I not give you one more character before we get on to... Oh, you've got a casting suggestion for Billy the Kettle?
Actually, I don't for Billy the Kettle.
What's his name?
Kenny the Kettle?
Billy the Kettle, yeah.
OK, well, I've got an idea for a character called Purple.
Purple, nice.
Purple.
Do you know why he's called Purple?
Because he likes purple.
No, he is purple.
He is purple.
He's purple.
Like a grape.
Yeah, that's purple.
Right, right.
That's it.
Yeah.
It's never explained.
It's never explained why he's purple.
Why is he called purple?
Well, he's purple.
yeah yeah freeze frame of purple yeah little purple words come up in wobbly writing underneath and off he goes purple and maybe it turns out that he fell into some dye or something no no you wouldn't explain he's just purple yeah okay I've got Freddy Jedi
I like it.
He walks around in a Ben Kenobi style robe and he talks about Star Wars and the Force a lot.
Freddy Jedi, that's good.
Freddy Jedi, played by Dexter Fletcher.
That's very good, because the sort of talking ironically about Star Wars in movies, it's about time that Ritchie jumped on that bandwagon.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, what's it been, 15 years?
Come on, catch up.
Freddy Jedi.
I've got another idea for a character, Mr Tickle.
Mm-hmm.
Is he actually one of the Mr. Men?
Well, if we could do the rights, yeah, that would be really good, don't you think?
That he turns up, yeah.
In a sharp, what's Cockney rhyming slang for suit?
Whistle and stick.
Jimmy Toot.
Flute, that's right.
Flute.
And the deal with him is Mr. Tickle, is he tickles people to death.
Mm-hmm.
which would be quite horrific.
Have you ever seen that in a film?
Someone being tickled to death.
Do you remember as a child, when you used to get tickled, you would hyperventilate and think, oh my God, I'm going to suffocate.
It's not pleasurable.
It used to be quite, no, there is a line when tickling becomes horrible.
And that's, you know, we're not encouraging children to do that.
It's a very, very bad thing.
But most people will remember that feeling.
That's a good idea.
Why not put that in a film?
Very good idea.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Adam and Jo.
We were born on the street.
That's what this podcast is basically about.
Various different kinds of street.
Streets where you do your shopping.
Streets inside your mind.
Streets where you're looking for a penny.
But in the end, it's a turd that you find.
I would like to say in defense of Guy Ritchie, you know, first of all, let's preface all these comments by saying that he is a filmmaker, a very successful one at that.
The end.
Okay.
Did you have more?
None of his films has lost money, although you dispute the fact that maybe Revolver... I can't believe that Revolver's in profit.
It wasn't even released properly in the States.
I read that none of his films has ever lost money.
And that's an impressive thing in the film industry, you know?
Not something to be sneered at.
Anyway, so we're asking you to contribute ideas to help Guy Ritchie out, because you know, a lot of people enjoy knocking him, but let's not forget that a lot of people also enjoy his films.
That's a good angle.
We're not knocking him, we're actually helping him.
Yes, exactly.
Because he may well use these ideas.
Here's one from Nick in Edinburgh.
Welk Willie.
He sells ammo in polystyrene cups from his stall in the East End.
That's quite good, isn't it?
At the climax of the film, the stall gets caught in the crossfire, sending a deadly shower of bullets and mollusks down the street.
I think it's a really good idea.
Who's that from?
Nick from Edinburgh.
I really like it, Nick.
I'm going to use it in the film.
In the film?
Yes.
Here's another one from Ollie in Battersea.
Jimmy the Sweep, played by Dick Van Dyke.
Is he still around?
He's quite old, but he's still with us, is he?
Yeah, man.
He's got his Doctor series on in the States.
There you go.
Dick Van Dyke, who in the guise of a chimney sweep, kills people.
Nice.
The film would be called Soot and would become a West End spinoff.
I like it.
I think it's a really good idea.
Jimmy the Sweep is good because he could pop out of chimney places.
What do you call them?
Fireplaces.
Yeah.
Suddenly.
Mm hmm.
And then kill.
And then, exactly, with his guns blazing.
Have we got any ideas?
He probably wouldn't have guns.
He'd probably use his thing that he sticks up the chimney.
His brush.
Yeah.
His bristly brush.
You can imagine the rest.
And, oof, up the chimney.
Here's some ideas I thought of.
These are just for titles.
I haven't got necessarily plots attached to them yet.
Maximum boshwallop.
I like it.
Maximum Boshwallop.
Yeah.
Richie, back to his brilliant best.
Yeah.
Boshwallop.
Maximum Boshwallop.
How about this?
Shut it, shoot it, boot it and toot it.
I like that a lot.
Yeah?
Take me through it again.
Shut it, shoot it, boot it and toot it.
Shut it, shoot it, boot it, toot it.
Yeah.
I like it.
Because it's all like little references to the drugs and shooting.
Yes, it is.
How about this one?
Bob the Snob and the Clobberjob.
Don't know about that one actually.
It's not so good is it?
It's more like a children's thing.
Well, you know, Guy Ritchie could spin out into children.
That's quite a good idea.
That he'd do a series of children's novels based on more sort of soft, simple gangster stuff.
That's a good idea, isn't it?
Did you watch the Mercury Music Prize last night?
Bits of it.
Bits of it.
I watched the opening sequence.
It was a montage of hobnobbing at tables.
And there was a tiny little clip of Alex Turner kissing... what's her name?
Chung.
I felt... it made me so angry.
They looked in each other's eyes, and then they pout.
She just kissed him on the lips.
It just made me furious.
He's a good-looking, tall, very talented man.
I wouldn't worry about it.
I'm taller than him.
No one's taller than me.
He's very tall.
Is he?
Yeah.
I know what you mean, because at first when I found out they were going out, I thought, that's outrageous, just because he's in a band.
He's spotty.
He's a little spotty weasel man.
He's not, though.
She should be going out with me.
I saw him at Glastonbury, he's not a spotty weasel, man.
Alexa Chung, what are you doing?
What are you doing, Chung?
He can't kiss.
And I'd kiss you.
This is Adam and Joe here with you and we're in the midst of Text the Nation.
We're asking you to come up with ideas that might be useful for future Guy Ritchie films.
Yes.
And we've had some very good suggestions.
I've got a little plot here for you.
The title of this film is Jimmel and the Fix-It Fix-Up.
Like it?
An eccentric crime kingpin, played by Jimmy Savile, takes his antique desk to be repaired at Roger's rock and roll repair shop after it's damaged in a shootout with some 12 year olds.
Now Roger is played by Barry from EastEnders.
And while it's being repaired by Roger's assistant Phil, played by David Hasselhoff, crazy bit of casting there, 20 of Roger's friends come round dressed as Elvis.
Oh, brilliant.
Yeah, Elvis, no, good, yeah.
And they have an Elvis party.
And everyone's having such fun at the Elvis party, they're singing and dancing to Elvis, that they don't see a gang of ninja monks, led by a beautiful female monk called Poo Poo La La, played by the Duchess of York, break in and steal the desk because they believe that it contains a holy scroll.
Are you following this so far?
Yes, yes.
This is a good plot, isn't it?
This is amazing.
I'm dazzled by the cast, though.
Yeah, well it's a good cast and it's a lot of left field decisions.
Pupulala.
Pupulala, she's played by the Duchess of York.
That could be on the soundtrack as well, isn't that like a... Royeres, yeah.
Royeres song, yeah.
Now, Gimel, the crime kingpin, he's furious with Roger.
Obviously.
Because it turns out that he was hiding some diamonds and drugs in the legs of the table of the desk, right?
And he wanted to get the desk out of his house... The legs of the table of the desk.
Yeah, while his son-in-law, Jimmel's son-in-law, played by Samuel Jackson, who is a local police chief, comes round for tea with his daughter.
Hang on, can I just point out that he's cool.
He is cool, isn't he?
Samuel L. Jackson, he's cool.
This is what I was thinking.
Caught a pounder with fries.
Right.
That's his line, isn't it?
Yeah.
Film four.
It's got stuff on Virgin Broadband.
That's the film.
Barclays Bank.
He's cool.
Whichever bank.
He's the coolest guy.
He's cool.
So he would play this police chief that is married to Gimel's daughter, the crime kingpin's daughter.
It's getting very complicated.
It is complicated, but that's what you want.
in one of the films.
Jimmel threatens to kill Roger if he doesn't get the table back, the desk back.
Roger enlists the help of the Elvises to track down the Ninja Monks.
Turns out the leader of the Ninja Monks is Jimmel's daughter, Pupulala.
You know what, I guessed that.
Daughter, did you?
Yeah, that was obvious, I was going to say at the beginning.
Duchess of York.
Anyway, it goes on a bit like that.
So that's an idea, that's Jimmel and the fix-it-fix-up.
It's very complicated.
Do you want to hear a little introductory monologue?
Here we go, look.
Alright.
This chirpy fella's known as Roger the Table.
Why?
Because he tried to once.
As I recall, it was a snooker table.
And take it from me, it was the closest he ever came to a hole-in-one.
To say he quite likes furniture is a little bit like saying Swept Away was quite a bad film.
That's an in-joke.
This is Roger's repair shop, and over there, that's Phil.
But everyone calls him Phil the Hole.
Why?
Because if he sees so much as a crack in a wall, he gets out his putty and starts filling it.
He's got a girlfriend called Polly, but that's another story.
Podcast.
Communication from the future, beaming down from chat space relatively slow.
Podcast.
Plug in the computer, prepare for download.
Here we go!
Not like that though.
Do it again.
There you go.
Do you ever listen to that show on Radio 4 that's immediately after us?
Obviously, who would turn off six music and listen to Radio 4 after this show?
Only an idiot like me.
Yeah.
But Armando Iannucci's Charm Offensive.
Yes, yeah.
He has a kind of bee in his bonnet about the fact that BBC shows spend most of their time telling you how to access them via all these different methods.
Right, right.
he gets him very annoyed.
Do you ever listen to that?
He gets him very upset and he does lots of good jokes about it.
We don't mention it that much though do we?
We don't, no.
But it's true, there's so many of them now.
Yeah.
That it almost takes as long to describe them as the length of a show.
Well, you need to.
Almost.
You know, now they've got rid of competitions, you need some.
It's true, some sort of blurble.
Waffle to fill up the programs, don't you?
So listen again, the podcast.
Yeah, the podcast.
But you know, the podcast features a lot of exciting new little nuggets.
That's true.
You've got a whole new
There were extra stings by the Salt Man.
Hi, this is Chris Salt, the Salt Man.
Extra stings by the Salty last week.
There's brand new stings this week as well that I've created.
In fact, I've brought in a sting for you.
No.
Yeah, I'm very excited about this sting.
I created it last night.
It's like a cross between a sting and a song from an amazing album.
A stong?
Yeah, do you want to hear it?
Yes, I do want to hear it.
It's all about us.
We're just a couple of guys, talking to each other We've been friends since we were young, I am like your brother And you are like my sister, a shy and scaredy girl Pale and thin and trembling, and frightened of the world But don't worry little sister, I'll take care of you, I will laugh at your jokes
I'll help you to the loo.
We'll get together once a week and broadcast our conversations.
And it will be quite similar to other radio stations but slightly sloppier.
Well, that's such a mixture of factual information, you know, things that are true and that connect to reality, and then things that don't.
Now, I saw you sigh wearily when the reference to helping you to the loo came up.
No, I just, there were images in my head that I'd rather weren't there.
That's all.
You've made me see things that I can't unsee.
It's like a little mission statement there and we could play it sort of... I was thinking that we could play it on this show like maybe every quarter of an hour.
Just to remind people, you know, what we do here.
That's a good idea.
But no, the truth is you brought that in because that's one you're thinking of not using, right?
Yeah, I was thinking of maybe... I think it's good.
Yeah.
I do think though it deserves a retort.
Well, yeah, that's a good idea.
Because I don't like being characterised as... A shy and scaredy girl.
As a girl.
What's wrong?
There's nothing wrong with girls.
Pale and thin and trembling and frightened of the world.
I'm quite pale.
I'm not as thin as I used to be.
I am quite frightened of the world.
Yeah, well there you go.
It's half bad.
And I do need help in the toilet.
A lot of help.
OK, here's one from Andy Clyde.
Remember, we're asking for your suggestions for new characters or titles or plot ideas for the next Guy Ritchie film.
Andy Clyde suggests a character called Texter.
Texter?
He never speaks.
He only ever sends SMS messages to communicate.
I like it.
It's a really good idea.
I think we're going to have it in the film.
Alex Cottrell sends an email suggesting a character called Voice Over Vince, a massive obese bald cockney who stands just off shot narrating the action as it happens.
The problem is he gets killed halfway through, which causes the film to break down into the normal level of confusion normally demonstrated by Mr. Ritchie's films.
Voice Over Vince, is that good?
That sounds a bit like that Will Ferrell film.
I like it.
Stranger than Fiction.
It's postmodern.
I like it.
It's going to go into film.
Thank you very much.
here's another one from nick jones uh he's got an idea for a character called sausage pete he's an older cockney with slightly fat fingers nothing else at all he says nick jones right yeah sausage what is sausage sausage pete sausage pete i think it's a really good idea i'm going to put it in the film
Yeah.
Okay.
Here's a good one.
This is good from Sepp in Manchester.
The Yank.
And it's a name for an American character.
Right.
Probably played by Steve Buscemi.
And he's very out of place in London's East End.
Has he even got one of those in, like, Snatch?
Is there someone called a Yank?
I mean, that sounds... Possibly.
That, ever since, um, uh, John Wayne made that film Brannigan.
Right.
Where he comes to London.
Did you ever see that?
Yeah.
And Danny Cannon did a similar thing in the film Young Americans, didn't he, with Harvey Keitel?
Fish out of water in it, yeah.
Love it.
Yeah, but that's no reason why Ritchie wouldn't do it.
I think it's a really good idea.
I'm going to put a Yank in for the next film, thanks.
One more.
This is from Mark by text.
Guy Ritchie character 101.
He's a safecracker who only talks in binary code.
Brilliant.
That's good, isn't it?
They've got some characters in Star Trek The Next Generation who only talk in binary code.
I forget what they're called, but I think it's a really good idea.
This is a really good one.
It's an anonymous text, but a character called The Flutist, a musician who stabs people with a flute.
When they're dying, he plays a tune to them.
Now, I think that guy's Mr. Trick or Lady, because I think if you, if you, this is horrible, I'm not suggesting you do this, but in a film, if you attack someone with a flute and it penetrated their neck, then as they were dying, it would play a tune.
And the killer would do a sick dance.
and then found you.
People love that kind of thing.
They're more horrible the better.
I think it's a really good idea.
I'm going to put it in the film.
Hello, Pete Doherty here.
Just like to say how much I enjoy listening to the Adam and Jo podcast.
Whenever life's got me down, it always brings a chuckle to my face.
I've just been checking the emails.
I hadn't looked at them for a while, and we've got a huge amount about Phil Collins.
Right.
It's provoked a thunderstorm.
This is what happens.
Of emails.
And it is really quite divided, isn't it, down the middle?
Lots of people
really liking the sound of the Collins, but people really violently taking against him.
I didn't think he'd divide people still.
I thought maybe people would have, you know, got over that kind of division, you know, or that kind of divisive thinking.
For some people, you know, for maybe lazy thinkers, he's a byword for mediocrity.
Well, there's the famous fact that of course he's beloved by hip hoppers.
Right.
And the urban music community.
There's a whole album of covers of Phil Collins tracks done by very respected R&B artists.
So, you know, he's had more than his fair share of hits.
I think maybe he does himself a disservice by being so geezerish, you know what I mean?
Right.
Like, I mean, you wouldn't want him to take himself more seriously.
I don't know what the best way to go is.
If I was advising Phil... There are pop stars that take themselves a lot more seriously than Phil.
Oh, definitely.
That's what I'm saying.
I tell you, his problem is he's just not in the public eye anymore.
He's not standing up for himself.
Where's the sequel to Buster?
Where are his comic relief appearances?
He used to be part of the fabric of British life, didn't he?
Always turning up on Swap Shop and BBC things all the time.
Well, he's got his own personal life to take care of.
His daughter was getting married.
I saw some pictures in one of my wife's mags the other day of Collins looking proud and happy and healthy.
So, you know, things are going well in Collinsville.
Well, we're sorry if it shocked you, the playing of Collins, listeners, but
You know, you've got to be in it for the long haul, if you listen to this show, right?
Take the rough with the smooth.
There's a lot of rough.
Anyway, theatre news.
Adam, you love the theatre.
I absolutely adore the theatre.
When was the last time you went to the theatre, seeing as you love it so much?
Oh, um, actually, well, I went sort of relatively recently with my son to see the theatre production of Tin Tin.
Oh, there you go.
That was two years ago.
That's relatively recently, isn't it?
Two years.
Before that, 15 years.
I went to the theatre last night.
Yes, now you do love the theatre because you were seeing Speed the Plough or whatever it was.
Yeah, I did see that one.
I like it if it's got a star or amazing stagecraft.
Who did you see last night?
I don't like plays that are just talking in drawing rooms.
So you went to see Wicked at the Apollo Victoria.
I went to see Sue Pollard.
Did you?
In Razzle Dazzle.
Now I made that up.
No, I went to the National Theatre.
Have you heard of the National Theatre?
Yes, I have.
On the South Bank.
It's a wonderful place because it kind of sucks all the posh people out of London.
Well, it just happens to appeal to that section of society.
Yeah, so much so that I was sat down in my seat.
I was seeing this play, The War Horse, which is incredible.
I guarantee you'd love it if you went to see it.
It's amazing.
It's got amazing puppetry, hasn't it?
Amazing puppetry.
But I was sitting down, as I was sitting down, various posh, bumbling, middle class people were sitting down around me and a man had a...
a middle-aged man with white hair had a little, almost a little tumble on the stairs.
So he had to hold on to the banister to steady himself.
And he said, oh, crivens.
Nice.
Yes.
I haven't heard that word used in public ever before, I think.
No.
But that speaks of the crowd the National Theatre attracts, doesn't it?
Someone using crivens?
Absolutely.
I should come back.
Criminy.
Criminy jicket.
That is all there is of the podcast.
It is all over.
Well, there we go.
That's this week's Highlights Podcast.
We very much hope you enjoyed it.
Uh, yeah.
Is that it?
Yeah, we didn't... I was going to say we didn't really spend that much time on that Guy Ritchie textination, did we?
I know, I feel bad.
I feel like I rambled on because I made more notes than usual last night.
That was impressive.
Your ideas were very strong, though.
Well, thanks, man.
There were lots of listeners' ideas that were equally strong that didn't get a chance to be heard because of your ideas.
How does that fit into the BBC values?
Is there something about interactivity and not sort of swamping the input of the listeners?
I think there's going to be some kind of lengthy apology on next week's show about it.
An official apology.
I think there might be a pre... we should do a pre-recorded apology.
And play it next week.
Play it out.
From Adam and Jocom.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Yes.
And we'll see you next week.
You won't, because you'll be away, won't you?
Ah, that's true.
I'll see you in a few weeks.
What are you doing out there?
You better not be hanging out with Will Smith.
He's my friend.
I might see him briefly.
He's going out to LA again, listeners.
I'll be joined by our regular buddy Garth Jennings and we'll be having some fun, maybe doing a song and probably having a much better time than if you were around.
I don't doubt it.
Will you bring me back something?
Yes, I'll bring you back a t-shirt that says Barack Obama is wicked.
Thank you very much.
That's what I want.
Bye.
Bye bye.